Be afraid… be very afraid (of televangelists)!

I got up an hour earlier than I usually do today. I have no idea why I did that, but now I have an hour to kill before my classes this morning. I’ve decided I’m going to spend part of it here writing a blog post. That’s constructive, right? 😀

Anyways, a couple of months ago my friends and I were having a sleepover. We were flipping through the channels when we came across this thing that looked like a drag queen in heavy makeup and a pink wig walking through a meadow with a flower in one hand and a bible in the other. She’s crying false tears this entire time, and talking about how she “told Satan to get out of her bed”. Uh, yeah. Of course, my friends and I dubbed her the crazy church lady, and we now routinely incorporate her into conversations (WWCCLD- what would crazy church lady do? :D), but that’s besides the point.

See, this lady is Jan Crouch, and she owns this Christian broadcasting network called TBN. Here’s a picture of her. Now, you guys all know I’m a Christian, right? Don’t get me wrong, I love God. However, I don’t love TV personalities asking the public to send them money “in the name of God”, which is basically what TBN does. A couple of nights ago, out of sheer boredom, I flipped back to TBN. They were holding a “prayer-a-thon” and basically begging people to send them money so they can donate it to God. How much money are they asking for? 100 dollars a month for 10 months. Apparently if you do this, God will bless you. Then it cuts to a scene where the donated money is put in bowls surrounded by smoke. The pastor comes up with this giant stick, hits the money bowls several times (he says he’s “smiting” them), and then it cuts back to the studio.

What’s wrong with that picture? Oh yeah, I see. The Crouches have gotten millions of people to send them money that they claim will go to God. Of course, it’s actually used for their own benefit. I’ve been doing some research, and apparently the Crouches own 30 homes across the nation AND a private jet. Oh, and I’m sure all those donations certainly had a hand in paying for Mrs. Crouch’s beauty products. The fact that these people call themselves Christians sickens me. They’re basically deceiving hard-working people into giving up their money so they can use it for their own purposes. Is that what Jesus would want?

Ever since that fateful sleepover, Jan Crouch has been sort of a inside joke between my friends and I. She really is an outrageous woman. And although poking fun at her is pretty darn amusing, I do admit there’s a part of me that’s still disgusted by TBN’s actions. I’m kind of against televangelists anyways (you can just go to church, people!), but Jan Crouch is definitely bad news. When you read about what she does with all that money she’s scammed out of the free world, you really begin to wonder if she’s really in this business for religious purposes. After all, she claimed that as a child she and her sister raised their dead pet chicken from the dead with God’s grace. No offense, Jan, but I kinda doubt that.

If you want to know more about the Crouches (and reasons to hate/laugh at Jan), here are a couple of links for you to check out. Jan’s Wiki, TBN’s Wiki, and part of the segment we watched on TV. Warning: reading may cause vertigo, moderate to severe nausea, diarhhea, and/or uncomfortable rashes.

And now, Jan’s signature Bible verse: “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep�s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves (Matt. 7:15).”

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8 Responses

  1. Wow, that’s sad. I don’t have tv so I don’t know what’s going on out there. But… wow. xD

  2. Man, a televangelist can raise that kind of money while a non-profit faith based addictions program is having a lot of financial problems and has problems getting people to let go of 10 dollars much less 100 for 10 months! What is this world coming to?

  3. Laura, yeah. It’s pretty sad. o_O

    And Michie, I wish I could tell you…

  4. I’m scared… You seriously sound like my exact twin. I love acting, drawing, and writing. I’m not much of a poet, only when I’m feeling VERY inspired. I’m wild about animals. Yes, saw you on your hedgehog thread 🙂

  5. Aaaah, that’s so cool! 😀 Hmm… is it a possibility that we were separated at birth?

    And yes, the hedgehog thread. 😀 I’ll be posting more pictures here than I will over there, so I reccomend checking here for updates on ’em.

  6. CRAZY CHURCH LADY!!! Man, that was a blast. The entire night was amazing. We must have a sleepover this year too!!!

    Anyways, I know what you’re talking about. I remember reading one of those letters to the editor they’ll have in magazines sometimes (it was my mom’s magazine.) Apparently there was an article a few mags back about this family in debt, and the mag’s financial experts were trying to help them out. So this lady writes in about this article, and says that she “cannot believe that the magazine cut the $100 a month the family gave to the church, because that money goes to God!” I remember thinking “Are you serious? Do you really believe this money actually goes to God?!?” Now, I’m not christian, so I really dearly hoped that not all christians thought this way; that this paper they give at church is someone beneficial to this almighty spirit. I mean, come on. So thank you, Cocoa. You have renewed at least some of the respect that I had lost for Christians with that letter; it’s not all, because I know there are plenty of people out there like CCL and that lady who wrote the letter, who believe that the money actually goes to some cause that’s greater than building a fancier church, or keeping up with the Jones’.

    All that aside though, I STILL LOVE YOU JAN CROUCH!!!

  7. So true. I believe in God, but it HAS been a while since I’ve been to church. Don’t get me wrong, I pray 🙂 I don’t think those people are going to go to some tall hill and say, “Hello, God! We’ve come with your money!” I think they’re just greedy people. Did you hear about that lady that stole from a church because “Satan made her do it”? Crazy. Come to think of it, maybe Satan makes us all do things like that, but we take responsibility for it. O.O

  8. Oh wow, that’s scary. I’m a Christian, and I think that is just plain WRONG. 😯

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