I’m just different, y’know?

When I was younger I used to wonder why I couldn’t be the girl that everyone loves, the girl that likes all the popular things, the girl that all the boys want to be with. Now that I’m older, though, I’m proud of who I am. I look around and see girls my age who only care about appearance and getting a boyfriend and I ask myself why I ever wanted to be like that.

There’s a group of girls about my age that always hangs out at my local pool. They never get in the water; the only thing they really do is either gossip or text on their fancy cell phones. They wear the big sunglasses and skimpy bikinis and always attract any guys that might be hanging around. Last year I’d go over and sit with them and try to make friends. They seemed a little bit annoyed and basically ignored me the entire time I was over there. I would get my feelings hurt and wonder why I couldn’t be more like them, why I couldn’t fit in more. They’re perfectly made up and popular and I’m the quirky hyper girl with her nose constantly buried in a book. Why did I have to be such a freak? Why couldn’t I listen to popular music and wear expensive, skimpy clothing and gossip and chase after boys? They’d giggle at me because I was so different from them. They found me fascinating. I didn’t want to be fascinating. I wanted to fit in!

This year is different. I don’t make an effort to befriend those girls when I’m at the pool. I actually get in the water- who cares if it messes up my hair? I’m proud that I read a lot. I’m proud that I don’t follow trends. I’m proud that I’m quirky and energetic and outgoing and I’m proud that I’m one of a kind. Was I proud of that when I was younger? No, I wasn’t. I think I’ve grown a lot in the past couple of years because now I’m content with myself. I’m not 100% confident (but what teenage girl is?) but my self esteem has really improved here recently. I mean, really- where’s the fun in being like everyone else anyways?

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6 Responses

  1. Cocoa I’m proud of you. I’ll be glad if my sons think the same like you, they also have their own way of life, a little different to the others, not interested much into appearance but more into their hobbies.
    I was also different to the others in my childhood, first because of my Asian look (we lived in a small village, we were the only strangers at that time lol) and second I also didn’t want to be that stylish girl like the others. But I wasn’t energetic like you instead I was very calm and shy, not very confident. It changed when I was in high school, where I also chose my favourite advanced courses, that was maths and physic and I was the only girl in physics haha. That gave me more self-confidence and I was feeling much better than the years before ;).
    So look forward Cocoa, I think the most difficult part of your teenagerhood is over now, you really sounds like an grown-up, happy and wonderful nice young woman ^^

  2. well exactly why be like anyone else! you have reached a great point in you life because from now on you will feel a lot better about you as a person and become more confident which i can tell you makes life much better!!

    Being different is cool.

  3. Thanks so much for the kind comments, guys. 🙂 They really mean a lot to me!

  4. I agree completely. When I was younger I tried to be a “normal” kid.
    That didn’t work out so hot.
    So I gave up on that. Now I read classic literature, do theatre, and listen to showtunes instead of the Jonas Brothers. I watch Tim Burton movies, sing songs no one has ever heard of… and enjoy every minute of it.
    If the Jonas Brothers, Twilight, and chick flicks are normal, then I’m over normal.

    P.S. It’s easier after Freshman year. Take heart!

  5. IS THE SIMS 3 GOOD???????
    i really wanted it but when we got it there was not enough space on our computer 😦

  6. being different rocks! i totally support you on that note. and plus, it’s also proven in romantic comedies (i love them!) : you know, where the awesome, often good-looking (hehe), male lead falls in love with the slightly quirky, but unique female lead… siiiigh! 🙂

    just like that quote in the movie “what a girl wants” (i think) : “stop trying to fit in, when you were born to stand out”. 😀

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